Mad about you

Are you mad? He asked me with a smile on his face, slightly surprised by my brutal reaction.

Yes, I am mad. I am crazily mad… about you

About you … my mind explores possibilities, kneading a dough of pain and hope, with a sweet salty taste, in silence. The madness and crazy tears already left my body, leaving behind a beautiful corpse, functional, admirable and empty.

About you … I was definitely not thinking when he entered in me, strong and hard, telling me that I am so beautiful, completely turned on by my sexuality and charm. He insisted that I come, liking me insistently. I try to fake it, but it didn’t work, so, I finally just gave into it. I came twice and I left soon after his hotel room. He wanted me to stay, hugging me and kissing my body, but the time I was supposed to spend with him talking or doing anything was unbearable torture for me, intolerably boring. In the comfort of my house, I remembered about you, while counting the moths since I did not have sex, since you actually fucked me in the summer.

About you … I was thinking when she told me that you are not coming this year to Bologna, popping immediately in my mind the crowded hallways with red carpet emptied of your presence, the taste of the Italian streets, bitter without your steps. My heart beat stronger, faster and more painfully, when her words reached my ears.

About you … is almost every song on my playlist, every though from my mind that wonders how stupid a person can be to fall in love, hard and brutal, just like I have fallen for you.

Memories

I am in red. A red dress curved around my body, match my high-hill red sandals, while my shoulders are covered by a red jacket, matching my red lipstick. I walk delicately between  the rooms, leaving a sweet and sorrow taste of my perfume behind me, while people smile and dogs shook their tails at my appearance. I receive the admiration compliments from women and the sexual desire from men with a delicate smile on my face. I know that I am beautiful, playful and intriguing. I have the million dollar look and a two million dollars smile. I am fabulous, I know it, I feel it and it does not move me. Not even an inch.

You are there. You are sitting at your desk miles away, in another time zone, with other people surrounding you, with other needs and expectations, with other plans and thoughts. You are far away, unreachable and unavailable, sleeping when I wake up and active when I go to bed. You are the heavy stone pressing on every bone from my fragile, delicate body, you are the second thought that emerges from my mind, you are the one I involuntarily dream about every night. Your my star, but not a shining one.